CRIME FICTION BLURBS
I've got a job writing crime fiction blurbs for MacMillan. This is what I've done so far:
A woman’s body is discovered face down in the peat outside a lonely Scottish castle, the only clues a large kitchen knife and an eight-page signed confession by the bloke that did it, but for grumpy middle-aged detective Rick Steinway zzz zzz…
When a well-respected authority of parasitic worms is found face down in the Serpentine with a rolled-up copy of Fiesta up his arse, Detective Inspector Henning Swarfega knows he has his work cut out for him...
When a retired art expert is found dead with twenty-four stab-wounds in the exact shape of Botswana on her ovaries, Detective Inspector Seaton Carew…
When a world-famous ballet-dancer is found hideously mutilated with a fish-slice in the menswear department of John Lewis, grizzled middle-aged sleuth D. I. Neil Soduku knows he has his work cut out for him. But first he must confront his demons and in particular the demon….
When well-known wine-critic and bon viveur Milton Obote is discovered lying face down tits up in a skip halfway up the London Eye, suspicion immediately falls on the enigmatic Hansi Enig-Matik, but for world-weary, middle-aged detective Matt Cubicle this could be his last chance to save his life…. and his marriage.
The body was found in dense underpants on Hampstead Heath, the face hideously mutilated, the thyroid gland carefully removed and around its neck a single piece of paper with the single enigmatic word: single… written on it…but for D.I. Jack Vettriano, this is only the beginning of a dark ride into the dark underbelly of web and corruption that lies at the heart of this dark web of dark sort of stuff.
A woman’s body is discovered face down in the peat outside a lonely Scottish castle, the only clues a large kitchen knife and an eight-page signed confession by the bloke that did it, but for grumpy middle-aged detective Rick Steinway zzz zzz…
When a well-respected authority of parasitic worms is found face down in the Serpentine with a rolled-up copy of Fiesta up his arse, Detective Inspector Henning Swarfega knows he has his work cut out for him...
When a retired art expert is found dead with twenty-four stab-wounds in the exact shape of Botswana on her ovaries, Detective Inspector Seaton Carew…
When a world-famous ballet-dancer is found hideously mutilated with a fish-slice in the menswear department of John Lewis, grizzled middle-aged sleuth D. I. Neil Soduku knows he has his work cut out for him. But first he must confront his demons and in particular the demon….
When well-known wine-critic and bon viveur Milton Obote is discovered lying face down tits up in a skip halfway up the London Eye, suspicion immediately falls on the enigmatic Hansi Enig-Matik, but for world-weary, middle-aged detective Matt Cubicle this could be his last chance to save his life…. and his marriage.
The body was found in dense underpants on Hampstead Heath, the face hideously mutilated, the thyroid gland carefully removed and around its neck a single piece of paper with the single enigmatic word: single… written on it…but for D.I. Jack Vettriano, this is only the beginning of a dark ride into the dark underbelly of web and corruption that lies at the heart of this dark web of dark sort of stuff.
posted by Random Targets | 2:20 PM
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